Dear WOODPECKER OUTSIDE MY WINDOW,
Oh, hey. It's you...again. I haven't seen you since last summer. Looks like you just moved back into town. That's fun. How was your winter? Oh, you were in Texas, eh? That's cool. It's hot down there. You have family in El Paso, eh? That's cool. Hmmm...soo...uhh...well...
OK. I'm done. Enough with the pleasantries. I can't do this anymore.
There you sit on your tree of hate. You taunt me with each peck. Don't you understand? It boggles my mind that you chose the tree right outside of my window....AGAIN! There are a lot of trees in St. Paul and you just happened to pick that one again..how strange. I'll tell you the truth, Woodpecker. I'm on to you...I think you were sent to hurt my feelings. Listen, Woodpecker..I never did anything to you or your family, so why don't you get out of town. You know I'm a hard worker. I deserve my sleep just as much as the next gal, don't I? Jeeze.
It's not enough for you to peck in the morning when I'm in bed, but then you take it upon yourself to have an afternoon peck when I just happen to take me mid-day lay down on the family hammock in the backyard. Isn't that a coincidence?!?! NO. It's not. You know why? Because you are following me. I know you are. I see you there. You peck and you peck and you peck, and then you stare and you stare and you stare.
I don't want you to think I hate you. I don't hate you. I resent you. I'm a lover of animals...I just don't like your attitude. Please fly to the suburbs where you can annoy the people that deserve it.
Thanks.
Me
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