Saturday, March 5, 2011

Where's Lame-O????

"Where's Waldo?" books always chapped my hide as a young pup. I spent countless days, hours, and minutes of my youth searching high and low for a weird man dressed like a candy cane. Guess what....I rarely found him.

We were led to believe that Waldo was the "perfect man". For if he weren't perfect, why would we spend so much time looking for his stupid face?

 I looked high, I looked low. I looked for him in the ocean, I looked for him in the town square. I looked for him in Egypt, I looked for him in London. I was always looking for Mr. Waldo Perfect Pants! 

And then it would happen, there he was! I had finally found him! Hiding behind that monkey in the middle of the rainforest! There was Mr. Waldo Perfect Pants, himself! I had found him! Woo!! what? Do I just stare at him forever? The joy of finding him certainly couldn't last forever! I was forced to turn the page. Start a new journey with him. 

With each new page, I grew more and more frustrated. The more times I found Waldo and then awkwardly stared at him for an extended period of time, the more I realized how incredibly flawed this little man truly was. He was constantly on the run, couldn't make a commitment to me on any page, and wouldn't stop wearing that stupid-ass hat! Waldo wasn't perfect, he was just a lame dude with commitment issues and a bad wardrobe! 

When I look back at the books now, I'm far more interested in the characters that surround commitment-phobe Waldo. That handsome man selling fruit in the town square, or the man walking the 14 dogs through Paris. Waldo never brought me food, nor did he even suggest that he had an interest in animals! 

We spend our days searching for what we think the perfect man or lady is, combing through the crowds of gentlemen callers and adorable ladies, searching for that one person that we think is what we want and need! When we stop looking for that Mr/Mrs. Perfect Pants for just one second, we will stumble upon the ones who are actually the most perfect for us. The ones who's quirks are out in the open, the ones who aren't so insecure that they have to hide behind a fountain while you are putting yourself out there in the town square (in the completely non-prostitute way, of course!). And maybe, just maybe, if we're lucky enough...Mr. Perfect will be wearing an adorable hat! 

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