(Warning: I am about to over-share.)
I'm not sure if I was nibbled on by a bug or what happened, but my belly button has been giving me some grief lately. Yes, my belly button. It upsets me. To deal with the angst, I offer you a very special blog entry....
On Ode To My Belly Button
Hey there little button man.
Hi. Hello. Bonjour.
Look at how you sit there and stare at me with your little button eye.
Staring. With. Your. Button. Eye.
Yes, I'm looking at you in a mirror.
That is the only way I can see you face to face.
Like. A. Man. Button.
When I stare down at you from up here, it is like I am a bird.
Flutter. Flutter. Fly. Fly.
A bird that stares at belly buttons as she soars on by.
Don't worry. I'm a friend, not a foe.
I shall not try to eat you like a tree mouse.
Chompy. Chomp. Crunch party.
Belly button, you have always been there for me.
I mean, where else would you be?
Belly. Button. Convention. In. Santa. Fe.
I'm assuming someone I know tied you to me when I was born.
Twisty. Twisty. Tie, tie.
Thank you for staying around for the party.
Enjoy. The. Punch.
I know sometimes I hide you from the public.
Sensible tshirts and legging tops have kept you my little secret.
I wanted it that way.
Secret. Belly. Button. Spy.
I don't think poorly of you.
You're a great pal.
Always there to give me a squeeze.
Belly. Button. Squeeze. Party.
If I could squeeze you like a navel orange...and make juice...
I keep you lint free as a gift to you from me.
I don't want you feeling like you're some type of second-rate citizen.
You're important, just like all the other buttons.
Staples. Easy. Button. Ain't. Got. Nothin. On. You
Never leave my tummy belly button.
Stay with me forever.
We'll get through this.
Promise. Promise. Pinky swear.