Friday, October 8, 2010

"Dating is like a dance..." GUEST BLOGGER: LAURA BUCHHOLZ

Well, it looks like I'm growing up as a human being. No longer am I selfish, not only have I removed the giant picture of my face from the front page of my blog, but I'm sharing the spotlight now too!

My Guest Blogger today is the beautiful Ms. Laura Buchholz. Laura ranks in my top 5 fave peeps..ever. She writes a lot of funny stuff for a lot of funny people. Sometimes we do improv that's fun.

I typed Laura's name into Google...and this is what I found.  What an awesome picture of her to share with you! Doesn't she look fun? Read on...

"Dating Is Like a Dance..."
By Laura Buchholz.

They say that dating is like a dance, and maybe the reason we all have so many problems with dating now is because dancing has changed.

I think when people liken dating to a dance, they have a very specific kind of dancing in mind:  namely, couples dancing of the sort that is just not done anymore, except in the slow-dance portion of the prom, which isn’t really dancing anyway, just an extended hug accompanied by music. 

If you go back to, say, the 40s, dancing was facilitated by two things, both of them initiated by the man.  Here is the series of events:

A)   Man asks a woman to dance.
B)   Man leads.

Easy, right? 


So fast forward to today.

Dancing is hip hop and house and the man and woman are equal, mainly because nobody initiates, everybody is just sort of there jumping around in front of each other but not touching.  Most of the motions are sort of violent, fist-pumping, jerking around, moving from side to side.   In fact, there is not a huge difference between what happens in the dances of today vs. what might happen in a step aerobic studio, (if that even happens anymore) with the lights off.  Instead of dancing WITH each other, people now just dance NEAR each other and we get a pretty good workout and then we get in our separate cars and go home. 

There’s a problem of initiation, and a problem of follow-through.  If we apply the old-timey dance model to dating, here is a simple model of how an ask-out might have happened in the past:*

A.   Would you like to go to the Stag Supper Club on Saturday at 8?  With me?
B.    Yes.
A.   Okay, I’ll pick you up at 7:30.
B.    Sounds great!

Easy, right?

Okay but here is the modern equivalent, and can you just hear the thumping bass in the background?

A.   I’m not doing anything Saturday night.
B.    Oh cool, me either.
A.   I’m off work at 7.
B.    That’s great.  I’m off work at 8.
A.   So.
B.    Yeah.
A.   I was thinking about going to the Stag Supper Club.
B.    Oh yeah?  I’ve heard good things about that place.
A.   Me too but I’ve never been there.
B.    You haven’t?  Huh.
A.   No. Have you?
B.    No I haven’t.  My sister has though.  She said she liked it.
A.   Oh.  I didn’t know you had a sister.
B.    Yep.  She lives in Arkansas.
A.   Hot there isn’t it?
B.    Yes, pretty hot.  Winters aren’t bad though.
A.   There’s a prime rib at the Stag Supper Club I’d like to try.
B.    Me too.  I’ve heard about it.
A.   That’s awesome.  Maybe someday we’ll go together.
B.    Sure, maybe someday.  Like Saturday?
A.   Oh wait I just remembered I had something else going on on Saturday.
B.    Oh, great.    See you later then.
A.  Take it easy.

Are you sweating?  Because I am.  And nothing has even happened yet.  Can someone just turn on the slow music so we can just stand here and hug for a while?  Thanks.

(KEY:  A = man, B = woman)

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