Friday, February 5, 2010

Gay Bar Probation? Woops.

A few days ago I broke one of my new dating rules. Yes friends, I went to a gay bar with my peeps! (Enter: NON-surprised faces of my friends and foes) My venture to this fabulous establishment was in the name of good theatre, but still...I broke my own rule.

You see, dates are few and far between when you approach the dreaded February Holiday (It has taken on it's own "Scottish Play" complex), so one must fill their Monday nights with some type of sparkle and pizzazz! What's the harm of a fruity cocktail among friends?

The morning of February 1st all single men under the age of 30 hibernate. Why? Well it's simple math, really. February is the shortest month of the year, yes? The February Holiday comes at the mid-point of the month. It is easier for a bloke to hibernate like a bear for the first 14 days, and reappear on the 15th day. This way he doesn't run the risk of wasting the ENTIRE month of February, but still keeps himself safe from the dangers of pre-14th dates.

The complications of a date before the 14th are tricky. A date before the February Holiday may imply romance with a person you are dating in a casual nature. First dates are OUT OF THE QUESTION. The pressure of the expectation is enough to drive young men into a cave in which they will play Madden 2010 for days on end, protest showers, but encourage large amounts of cheez-its and beer consumption, just to avoid the dreaded....lady friend. We can't blame them. Pity them? Perhaps. But blame, surely not.

This intricate mathematical equation puts the lady into a slump. What else am I supposed to do with my time? Knit? I don't do that. I go to gay bars with my peeps for musical theatre extravaganzas! It's just in my DNA. How dare I try to rob myself of that in the first place! :)

Happy with my decision. No regrets. No dates...this is true...but a better understanding of showtunes. That's awesome!


No comments:

Post a Comment