Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Lady-Besties Revolt

There has been an increase in my dude-friends getting these things that they like to call "girlfriends" lately. It's a very confusing concept to me. These women have creeped in right under my nose and BAM! dude-friend=gone!

You see as the "lady friend" or "token girly bestie",  one of two things happen when this "girlfriend" comes into the picture (both are equally as unfortunate). The first thing that can happen is he will turn to you for advice. In one situation dude-friend had been quietly dating the new girlfriend and not mentioning a word of her to me, and then suddenly...BAM! he's in love! Of course he's in love....of course he is. Plagued with the feelings of new love, he turned to me for some love advice. Uh-oh.

When dude-friends ask their lady-besties for advice about their new girlfriends, things can get sticky. You see because girls usually don't like other girls...for the most part. It's hard to be impartial in a situation in which you think that other girl is a tad on the skanky side, or smells like trouble. If you are a lady, you know this is true. I went to all-girls school so the scent of girly trouble has been beaten into my nostrils my whole life. So there he is, sitting with a pouty face, and he asks "What should I do about my new girlfriend?"...and what do I do? I roll my eyes and say "Get over it. Move on." Not cool, self. Not cool.

If dude-friends aren't coming to you for advice on their new girlfriends, it's because they have turned to the next option....DROP OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH. This is where most dude-friends go when they have their new girlfriends. You see, new girlfriends are threatened by his lady-besties and have asked that he spend less time with them, and more time with her...doing nothing. It's sad when the dude-friends drop off the face of the earth, lady-besties tend to miss them a lot when they vanish. A bit of advice to dudes to vanish when the new girlfriend comes into town...that's not cute. We forgive you for your stupidity, but it's not cute. Seriously. We didn't want to date you before, this new girlfriend isn't going to eff up our mind-grapes and make us think we're in love with you...calm down and call the lady-besty back every once and awhile. Yeesh!

Being a lady-besty can be a tough job, but they exist for a reason. Lady-besties are the perfect situation for a dude-friend because they offer the giggles of a lady, without the inevitable mundane boredom of the new girlfriend. At the end of the day, this new girlfriend is fleeting, but lady-besties are forevesies.

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