Monday, June 21, 2010

Pressure cooker...not just for rice anymore, but for your relationships!

(Don't cut your child's hair like will lead to relationship problems and complexes)

Settle in, children. I'm going to tell you a story. Here are the important deets you need to know. Alice, Elizabeth, and I were in 6th grade. Elizabeth had recently cut her hair into a very short pixie cut. A family party was that night...we were attending. No one would have guessed that this night would life in infamy.

As Alice and Elizabeth gallivanted about at the party, a guest tapped Alice on her shoulder. "Is that your boyfriend?" she said.... shooting a presumptuous look in Elizabeth's general direction. " This is my friend Elizabeth" little Alice said.

Wow. Awkward.

I have a theory that was the night things really went downhill for all of us in the men department.

I'm just going to come out and say it, folks. Single girls my age are getting a lot pressure these days. Everywhere I go it's "Are you dating anyone?" or "Is that your boyfriend?" or even "That strange boy sitting 3 feet away from you should probs know you are single because we're worried you're a hopeless cause and perhaps he'll take pity on you and take you out!" What's the deal, yo?

It always happens around my parents friends. My phone rings, they glance down, it's a boy..."MY GOD! SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND! THANK GOD!" You can sense the relief in all of them. You always want to just say.. "Guess what, folks? He's not my boyfriend! In fact, he's just another boy on the long list of 'just friends' "...but instead you just coyly smile and leave them to their aged imagination. :)

As much as we would like to say the pressure doesn't get to us...we're all gets to us. How could it not? Constantly fielding the questions of why you are perpetually single can get...repetitive. The questions make you think about why you are single, and then question if you're weird or somethin'. (Disclaimer: you're not.)

Single or not... here are some facts. I'm a happy person. I love my friends, my family is pretty awesome, and my job[s] make me smile. So what's all the fuss about? Why is everyone trying to pair me off with some goon, when perhaps I'm happy runnin' solo for awhile? Here's why: people my age are effing getting married already! WHAAAAT? It's like a race to the finish line with the people I know. Girls I grew up with are moving in with their boyfriends, or even (it's not even something I can truly comprehend..gasp!) getting engaged. Boys I know are biting at the bit to seal the deal AND actually date the girls they think are gorgeous! Are we living in a 20-something twilight zone or something?

So where do I fall in this 20-something, love-hungry equation? I don't even think I factor into it to be quite honest. The expectations from my peers to "settle down" or "pair off with that special someone" seems absurd to me. I'm 22 and I have no intentions of settling down anywhere! In fact, I feel like I'm just beginning! You see, I never dated when I was in my teenage years. I explored the world, I laughed, I skipped and frolicked! I did all of those things while my friends skipped and frolicked from boyfriend to boyfriend. Of course at 22 they are ready to settle down, they must be exhausted by now! But that's just not for me. I seem to be on a different timeline.

The truth is this: the pressure doesn't come from anyone other than ourselves. Whether it be our peers or our parents and their friends, WE decide whether we feel badly about ourselves or not, they are simply a mirror in which we see ourselves. If you start out feeling badly that you are single, someone pointing it out won't make you feel peachy keen! If you make the conscious effort to embrace your singledom, and spend time with the people you care about the will continue to be happy! If you want to stay single until you are 84 with 12 cats...just do it..and be HAPPY about it! Also...Whatever you do though, don't cut your hair into a short pixie cut like Elizabeth and walk around with your girlfriends...the pressure will triple! :)

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