Do you believe in "the spark"? I do. A friend of mine went on a seemingly perfect first date tonight. Ice skating, dinner, and even a good night smooch. Sounds like a perfect date combo, no? Not tonight. She left the evening feeling....blah. She said ice skating was funsies. Dinner was alright. And the kiss? Well the kiss was awkward...so awkward, in fact, that mid-way through she started thinking about her physics homework! No bueno.
So what happened? If you'll indulge me in what I believe to be the best physics metaphor I can make... (this will soon turn out to have nothing to do with physics by the time I'm done with it)...Why didn't A+B=2nd date? There was no spark. I usually say I know within the first 5 minutes of meeting a person whether I dig them or not. I know that is a probs a gross overstatement, but it's pretty true for me.
Recently I went on a first "let's hang out but not call it a date" and I knew I was smitten right away! Our conversation lasted hours, I couldn't peel myself away from how effing fascinating he was. He was adorable. He had all the qualities of a human being I enjoy. I knew right away that I was on the path to Smittenville. Perhaps this makes me sound loco...but I knew it! Does this mean that I was ready to run off and buy a suburban home, make him put a flashy ring on my finger, and start taking couples pilates with him? Certainly not! I just knew I dug him.
Recently I went on another first "let's hang out but not call it a date" and I knew I was NOT smitten right away. Our conversation was a bit of a snooze-fest, he was also adorable, but only had some of the qualities of a human being I enjoy. I knew right away this was not the dude for me. Why? No sparky! I just wasn't into it. So our lack of conversation topics and the fact that I wanted to go home pretty much 5 minutes into the "let's hang out but not call it a date"... didn't bum me out very much! Why? No SPARKY!
Here's the thing about the sparky...it's not always turning into a flamey! Perhaps I could feel the spark right away with Bachelor #1, but that doesn't mean that his campfire is open for business. Take for instance my friend's date tonight...she was NOT feeling it whatsoever, yet he insisted on having an awkward make-out sesh in which he allowed his stubble to "give [her] chin an unexpected microdermabrasion". Why did this happen? Because he felt the spark, yet didn't care to notice that her logs weren't ready to be burned. I dare say...they were soggy logs? (no, I shan't say that..that's gross). What I mean to say is that the spark can be one-sided. Ya...that's what I meant to say (I think).
So how do we make a flame? Hell if I know! All I know is this: I am more inclined to hang out with Bachelor #1 again because he gives me fireflies in the tum tum and I like that. And Bachelor #2? Well...not so much. If he asks...my logs are soggy and can not ignite from his sparks to create a campfire suitable for..umm..making s'mores (jeeeze louise...i'm sorry for the metaphors).
Go find a spark!