Wednesday, January 13, 2010

At 17..I wore a bear suit. Yes, a bear suit.

I recently spoke to a young woman who did something BOLD.How bold you ask? Lady went out on a limb! After meeting a charming gentleman at a New Year’s Eve party a few weeks ago, he invited her to go back to his house for a smooching sesh (yes, that was my thought too). She told me how sweet and loverly it was and how smitten she was with him. Many days went by and she found herself restless from her New Year’s Eve adventure and so she decided to ask him out on an old-fashioned date. Having not exchanged cellphone numbers or even last names, she went to his house, knocked on his door, and asked him if he wanted to go out. After that night she decided she didn’t want to see him again because she was “over it”.

It seemed to me that she jumped through a lot of hoops to snag a date with this bloke. What a bold gesture! To go to a strangers house on the night of your first meeting? And then, making matters worse..going back to his house for some more, uninvited at that! Only to decide that you’re “over it” after one date! I was in awe of her bold-nature and impulsive decision-making. I told her that day that I would have never been able to do something like that. Further self-reflection revealed that I HAVE done such a thing.

My senior year in high school I dressed up in a bear suit, went over to the boys school at lunch, and proceeded to perform a rap I had written to ask a certain young boy to a Homecoming dance. (By the way, read that correctly..a BEAR SUIT!) At 17 I was running about town in a socially inappropriate animal costume, asking out everything that winked at me! And not just asking them to hang out, writing raps to the tune of Sisqo’s “The Thong Song”. So here we are, in 2010 and I wonder where my nerve went?

I’m inclined to say my nerve went on vay-cay when I graduated from all-girls school many moons ago. Entering into the real world I have found that singing the “Thong Song” in public (even with changed lyrics) is frowned upon, and dressing up in animal suits as a “grown up” is actually some weird adult perversion I once saw chronicled on an episode of HBO’s “Entourage”.

I had to think long and hard about my opinion on these bold female professions of passion I have heard tales of. To be honest, I hold a judgement on them. I hate to say it. Stop judging me for saying it. I’m sorry. Chill out. Ugh. Now I feel guilty. Mmmk, let me lay it down for you. When a dude shows up at some chicks door with a bouquet of daisies in the middle of the afternoon, he is hailed as a romantic hero. Flocks of women swoon for him, dream of him, throw their undies at him. Let’s flip that situation around, shall we? A beautiful, charming, witty, young lady sends her crush a text saying, “hey, you’re super fun”…..Watch out, fellas! She’s a crazypants. Steer clear! She wants a commitment and she has suddenly become ugly. Very, very ugly. In fact, she just sprouted horns! Have those horns always been there? No, I think they just sprouted. Oh god. This is horrible. Run. Run for the hills. Quickly.

The truth of the matter is men boys under the age of 30 are threatened by girls with nerve. There. I said it. So what do we do about that? Do I allow my nerve to stay on it’s Thai vay-cay? Or do I tell it that it’s Visa has run up and it must return to the states and get back to work?

For now, I think everyone deserves a vay-cay. Love it. :)


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