Thursday, May 6, 2010

Get Your Match Babes, here! Five Dollas a month!

Have you heard of this thing called...The Internet?



As you know, the Internet is a crazy ass thing. It has single-handily changed the way the entire world works...(Thank you, Al Gore for your genius invention..) Businesses have changed, world views, social networking and friendships, and especially the dating world. In this little blog (a product of the Internet), I have explored how Facebook has changed the way we perceive a new love-interest, but what about full-blown Internet dating?

      I'll be honest with you...Internet dating? it gives me the creeps all up in my lady-business. At first glance it seems quite voyeuristic to me. So, let's see if I've got this right..you go on a website, post a spicy photo of yourself, share details like.."I like cheese from the south of France. I have a puggle named Leroy.." and then cruise down the river of skanky on a flatbed of love-hope...right? Am I getting this correct? Just like I would never swim in the Mississippi for fear of catching some crazy fish disease or paddling by a dead body, Internet dating will never be for me. It's just not in my DNA.

Internet dating takes many forms though, so I should cool my jets on the judgement jacuzzi, I suppose.  I know a girl in her 20s who has joined a very conservative Christian dating site. She shared her success of finding doctors and other professional men who simply didn't have the time to go out and meet the sort of women they would like to marry. But here's my question...so this busy dude who doesn't have time to go out and meet women, he will will find you on the Internet, he will have his secretary ask you out on a date when he can fit you into his crazy schedule, marry you, have you bear his children, and then leave you at home while he continues to have a crazy career as an astrophysicist? Is this correct? Am I getting this right? Let me ask you THIS question...WHY BOTHER??

 There are the super conservative dating sites, and then there are....the other ones. I've heard of sites in which people have to pay to join...aren't you just basically hiring yourself a pimp? Let me answer this for you...yes, you are. You are hiring yourself a pimp, but you have to do all the work! Scam! Those sites are reserved for one night stands, or people trolling for sex on the Internet, and then end up on those "To Catch a Predator" shows...ru-roah! You didn't know she was 16? Too bad. Now the nation knows you are a perv. 

I try not to be too judgmental on Internet dating, I mean, at the end of the day we are all searching for someone love, but when did face to face communication go out of style? When did people stop "going out there" and meeting people? The Internet has become a safe way for people to "put themselves out there," I guess. A way to truly see that there are other fish in the sea, but those fish that you are seeking on that website may have the same diseases that all the Mississippi fish have, ya know?  That main disease could be insecurity-itis. And that shit is contagious, so to put all the Insecurities on an Internet island is a bit like what they used to do with lepers. That's not cool. 

Where's the fun in the courtship of a new person in your life? If you already know everything about a person from their profile, such as: "Sally likes to cook stew on Fridays for her cats, she makes wool hats for the neighbor kids, and joined a synchronized swim team four years ago:...what's there to talk about on your date? On an Internet site you can just click past all those folks who have brown hair because you are looking for a blond, but what if that brunette owns all the seasons of "Boy Meets World" and watches them every night...just like you! You would never know! Suppose you met that brunette at a Ben Savage book signing, you'd know it was love right then and there. Her hair color wouldn't matter, would it? Let me answer this for you...No, it wouldn't!

For others, the Internet dating is for them...for me? it makes my tummy turn. I'll enjoy the boys that court me in person, they are the perfect medicine for insecurity...why? Because they make me feel so darn good about myself. 

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