Saturday, May 8, 2010
An open letter to the....GOLDFISH!!
Why do you poop that way? It seems gross to me...and by "seems gross to me," I actually mean...it's totally gross to me. I know that's the way you were made, but let's talk about hygiene for a minute. That's gross. You are letting poopsicles just hang from your little fish body! WHYY? Why do you let it hang there like that? I know you have great muscles in your fish hips because I see you swimming around your tank all day while I work, why not use your fish hips to shake some of the gunk free, huh? Answer that question for me, goldfish? Humans poop too and you don't see the majority of us walking around with that hanging from us...or do you, goldfish? Perhaps I'm being ignorant??
Listen goldfish, I just ask this of you..when I come into your tank and tap you so that you swing your little fish hips so hard that your poopsicles fall off of you...please don't be offended. I'm doing this so I can eat my cliff bar without wanting to gag. Thank you. And have a nice day in your tank.