Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Collect $20 at the bank...There is a sale at: The LOVE STORE!!

I've never been very good at poker or manipulative mind games that involved skills like that. Games of scheming, trickery, and tom foolery? I'd rather play Mall Madness. Game playing? Not my strong suit.

Mary J. suggested "No More Drama," and the Backstreet Boys asked us nicely to "Quit Playing Games" with their hearts, but today I developed this half-ass theory that perhaps men and women are actually just playing with GAMES with themselves.

I play mind games with myself all the time. When workin' on my fitness at the gymsicles I cover up that pesky blinking timer on the elliptical so that I can surprise myself with how long  I've been sweatin' up a storm. Here's the problem: Even when playing games with myself...I cheat. Every few minutes I pull the People magazine down and see that I've still got 25 minutes left to go.

And in games love? Well things get complicated there. Let's see if you follow me on this one...

When you really like someone, you will turn a blind eye on any and all douchebaggery that they share with the world. We create this wall in our minds. On one side of the wall we sit content with their dreamy eyes, perfectly styled hair, and wit, but if we were to open that little gate that took us to the other side of the wall? We would find unreturned phone calls, snotty comments, and resentment because of the  ignorance to your affection. This seems convenient for some. Not for me. I usually stay on the negative side of the wall..I don't mean to, but it seems easier than sipping the make believe mojitos on the other side.

The wall is a game we play with ourselves. It was a game when we built it up, and it's a game when we continue to scurry from side to side. Scurrying with hopes that maybe one day we could knock down that wall and they might fall head of heels for us.

But the worst game we play is the "In budding romances, you should play hard to get" game. Because of my lack of motivation when it comes to self-play...the game "hard to get" is a game in which I always just throw the towel in. Why? Because (as you I've discussed in the past Patience is a virtue...a hard one) I'm no good with patience. Games that require me to "wait it out" or "play my cards just right"...are games that just make me want to play Mall Madness MORE!

Playing hard to get requires patience and scheming. It requires you to put your effing phone down and not text him 12 times a day, even though you like him a lot.  It requires you to not say yes to hanging out with him 62 times a week, even though you like him a lot. It requires you to keep the your chastity belt bolted down, and installing one of those finger print locks you see in all those fancy CIA movies...he can put his finger there and open it after at least 14 more dates. :)....even though you like him a lot. It requires patience and trust. Trust that it will all work out because the other person genuinely likes you and wants to spend time with you.

Now, now folks..let's not go crazy with this concept. Playing hard to get doesn't mean being a bitch face. Go out with the gentlemen callers! Answer her telephone calls and take her out on the town...but in moderation! It's all about moderation! There is no need to overload your first dates into 48 hours.

Some doofus said that absence makes the heart grow you know what absence makes me do? play the super fun game "I'm going to effing Sulk because he won't text me back". I shouldn't, but I do. I sulk because I like that person and I want to be hanging out with them, but I don't want to be on overload. I don't want them to think I'm clingy so I just sit at home and sulk.  I'm a lot to deal with. They are a lot to deal with. Let's take a breather here. We just met! We all play this game with ourselves. "When should I call her back?" or "Should I wait 2 minutes or 20 minutes before I respond to his text?"'s not us playing games with that person, it's us playing games with ourselves!

We trick our minds into thinking that we know what we are doing in the game of love, but we don't. We're humans. Impatient humans. So I'm encouraging myself to practice patience..and stop the cheating :) It doesn't make the game any fun if I do that!

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