You know those dweebs who say "Patience is a virtue"..do you know what I say to them? You try it! It's not so easy! Blurgh.
Patience. It's an interesting concept, no? In today's world we lack the ability to be patient. Everything is at our fingertips at all times. So why can't relationships with human beings be the same thing? The ability to tolerate getting to know someone is an unheard of concept to some. We thrive for these insta-friendships, immediate informality that will make us feel like we've been friends forever. Why bother with the getting to know bs, when we can just behave that way immediately?
Take my hero, Chelsea Handler, for instance. Lady has people on her show and says such horribly offensive things to them like they've known each other for years. The truth of the matter is they probs met 10 minutes ago in her dressing room. Celebrities are a really great example of people we all want to be insta-friends with. In every situation in which I've encountered a celebrity of some sort, the question always arises with everyone around me.."What can I say that is different? How can Perez Hilton and I be besties right away?" The truth: We all do this AND Perez Hilton does not want to be besties with you..at all..ever. Promise.
(This rule does not apply to me because Perez and I actually are besties now..just sayin')
We all have this need to get to know people right away. I knew a guy who wanted to get to know me so badly that we hung out almost every day for 2 weeks. We had just met, but there was this need to get the formality of new friendship out of the way, in order to jump to that place of comfort. Things get messy when you enter this dangerous world of insta-friendship. How so? Well, I'm glad you asked...you both know you're over doing it on the friendship train, but you don't want to alienate the other person..so you just hang out every day for 2 weeks and see how that works out for you. Shallow friendships are created that way, not real ones.
And how does this insta-friendship react to the chemicals of the dating world? It's like that experiment with the Mentos and Diet Coke. It's going to blow up in your face and get you all sticky. We're so gosh-darned focused on getting the awkward first dates out of the way, that we forget to get to know each other first. I'm super guilty of this. I meet someone, I dig them, I think they are fun, why don't we hang out again this week? You know why we don't hang out again this week? Because maybe we need some time away from each other! Patience! Why can't it just be nice n' easy?
So, I beg of you and I beg of me...practice patience. If you do, you won't be on your grumpy horse so much when things don't work out for you RIGHT AWAY. It's more fun to be chased than to tap your toes and be annoyed. :)