Friday, April 2, 2010


Little boy cries because he's not a single lady..

Have you seen this video? Save yourself the time and let me explain. Basically it goes like this:

Kids dancing in the car. "Single Ladies" comes on. Little boy in car seat starts rockin' it out. Father of little boy says.."Son, you're not a single lady".....TEARS! Boy loses his *bleep*. Watcher of video starts to laugh. The end.

There has been a growing obsession on the internet with videos of crying children. What with Charlie bit my finger, kid coming home from the dentist, and now, little boy crying over Beyonce.

Gentlemen, I'm concerned about your future...

Which brings me to my open letter of the day to...... CHILDREN CRYING LIKE BABIES ON THE INTERNET!

Dear Children Crying Like Babies on the Internets,

      You guys, chill out. No seriously...chill out. I know it seems like the end of the world right now, but I can assure is not..and I'm sorry to may regret this decision.

     My concern lies in this small fact. Boys, you are aware that your parents are filming you right now, yes? Your youth may stand in the way of your logic, but you should know that film lasts forevsies. Not only does that film last forever, but your parents are ensuring it goes everywhere by posting it on the internet. Do you see why this is a problem?

     You see, someday you will be a grown man and this tape will always be there. For instance, little boy crying because you are not a Single Lady, someday you will have a girlfriend. Things will be going well, you’ll be in love and bring her home to your family. You know what your family will do? Show her that video of you crying like a maniac…do you know where she will go? Home. She will also change her telephone number. Bye, bye, baby.

    Don’t think I forgot about you, Charlie bit my finger brother! When you apply for your first job in 15 years, that video is going to be a reference, and unlike your “job working for the FBI”, this one is real. Even if you get the job, everyone will want you to put their fingers in your mouth. It’s going to be awkward. I hope you are prepared for that.

     You guys, stop being babies and put a cork in the waterworks. You’ll thank me for this someday. Je promise.



1 comment:

  1. Remember that time we had a "friend" talk and you gave me back everything I'd ever given you?! Hahahahaha