Friday, April 9, 2010

T.AA: Text-aholics Anonymous

(this could be ME if I'm not careful...bucktooth and all...)

Hi, thank you for joining me at this meeting. Can we gather in a circle and hold hands, please? 

Ugh. This is hard. Ooo..I don't know how I can say this. Mmmm..I need your support on this one.

My name is Madde and I'm a text-aholic. (Hi, Madde)

       I'm a text-aholic. Yes, a text-aholic. I love to text. For serious on this one. If I have your number in my phone I have probs texted you once or twice. It was brought to my attention recently just how much I like to text, in fact. And you know what? I'm embarrassed. Text messaging has become a habit of convenience for me. I will text to say hello, make a funny, send a picture, or pass the time. Friends, family, crushes, and more. They all get a little Madde love in their phone in box.

      In fact, I've recently coined the term "flirtexting". "Sexting" is tacky, but "flirtexting" is adorable. You see, 'flirtexting' is texting witty and adorable things to a person you are interested in. It gives you the convenience of being flirtatious from your very own home! Unfortunately for me...I'm a babbler. Yes, I babble like a brook. I like to be witty. Have the last word. This brings me to...a true story..comin' at ya! Let me share a recent text conversation with a dear friend I'll call "Truth-Speaker"...

(imagine a witty text conversation..and then THIS..)

 Ugh. Balls

ok, texty. one more text and you win the GUINESS RECORD!!


MADDE! YOU HAVE WON! CONGRATULATIONS!! YOUR PRIZE IS...(I'm not at liberty to share with you what the prize's gross..haha)

You are dead to me.



     You guys, this was a wake up call. For serious. The text message has replaced the phone call and face-to-face conversation, leaving in it's place a opportunity to embarrass yourself like WOAH!

      "How does the text message play a role in a budding relationship?" asks the grasshopper. Well, I'm glad you asked. My extensive, scientific research proves that the text message is detrimental to a budding flower of love. Why? Well because of many things. A text message isn't like a conversation. A text message can be looked at over and over again. Examined, re-read, studied, pondered, and blown out of proportion. You say one stupid-ass thing and BOOM! done. The relationship is donezo. Also, one can OVER text someone they hold in high-esteem (cough--me--cough) just because they have potential adult ADD and want to share every thought they have. Also two very scary things exist...they are called boredom and/or alcohol. Woops.

     Take for instance the website That is a clear example of why text messaging shouldn't be mixed with alcohol. Examples include: "that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before..." or "He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere." or "when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.Texting has become a time to share our most ridiculous thoughts WHENEVER we feel the need to share them, and to a potential suitor..this can be frightening. You don't want to show them your crazy cards so quick! :)

    So, how am I going to fix this bad habit I've developed? I'm bringin' the phone call back, people! Weee! I like vintage clothes, why not bring back vintage behaviors? I learned how to text message on Christmas morning when I was in 7th grade. The text has been with me for a very long time. I'm not going to say goodbye to it, but if I have something to're going to get a phone call from me! Why? Because I am going to think through what I have to say if I do that. Any other thoughts will be tweeted or kept to myself. It might be better that way. All my "flirtexting" will be replaced with real flirting, but I warn you..that's awkward too. Take what you can get with me. 

So, a big THANK YOU to the Truth-Speaker and their truths that they embarrassed me with. :) I'm going to go make a phone call! Oooooooo!

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