Monday, April 19, 2010

Doing my lunges for a crowd of 1.

I hate to be a complainer-pants here, but....I have a complaint. You see, I've been lied to my whole life. And if I'VE been lied surely have been lied to as well. About what, you say? I'm glad you asked. We have all been lied to about...HOT PEOPLE AT THE GYM.

      Movies and TV would tell you that the gym is full of eligible young mates who are just waiting to date me, but this is simply not true, folks. Not true at all. Heck! I even know people in my life who have met their mates while workin' on their fitness. Not at my gym. Nope, not even an option. You see at my gym I would say the average age is...older. Yes, we'll just call them "older". Do you know that the lap pool is also used for water aerobics? Do me a favsies, will ya? Close your eyes and picture in your mind the people you think do water aerobics at 10 am. Are you picturing they look like this?

Good job. You're right. They are the members at my gym. Funnoodles and all! Woo!

Now, now..I don't want you thinking I think I'm hot stuff! In fact, I'm fairly positive I'm not at my most attractive at the gym. Many times a week I can be seen doing stretches such as:
The Seal Stretch.


Happy Baby (my favorite! I feel so freeeeee!)

..or even..

Boat Pose

..I'm even responsible and wear a helmut on the bikes!

     I am perfectly aware that the probability of a smokin' young lad leaping off of his elliptical machine to come get the number of this hot item is slim to none, but what a bummer...they aren't even at my why bother! Where are all the hot men at my gym that society has promised me?? I'd at least like to have something nice to look at other than the angry man on the rowing machine who keeps staring at me while I laugh uncontrollably on the stairmaster!

     Alas, I am forced to work on my fitness with the elders. I guess that's ok, it keeps me focused. At least I'LL know how hot my Happy Baby is, and how lucky everyone else would be to see it.....if they were members at my gym. But I suppose there must be a "hot people gym" somewhere in the suburbs. 

Old People: "Hey, Madde! Come take a dip"
Me: "No, thanks!"


  1. If Pauly D and the Situation aren't gentlemen I don't know what is...

  2. Haha..wrong entry..but thank you..they are a good time..but sleezy, nonetheless