Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Do we ever recover from the "friendship talk"?

You guys, we've all been there. Where? You know where. Still don't know where? Yes, you do. You were there like a minute ago. No? Yes. We've all been a part of...

....the dreaded "friend talk"....

Where do I even begin? I'll start by saying's awkward. Like SUPER awkward. No, may think it's not going to be awkward, but it is. Stop fighting it. It's awkward for both of you. There. We said it.

You see, the "friend talk" usually has good intentions, but will always end poorly. The mere fact that one needs to have the "Let's just be friends" talk means many things. Mainly, this means we were never friends to begin with, and now I'm trying to back out easily so that things don't get awky turtle up in here.

The question is this...can we ever recover from this awkward party and actually be friends? Let's explore this, shall we?

My thoughts are this: One person is always going to resent the other for bringing this topic up in the first place. The friend talk doesn't come out of Nowhereville after all! The friend talk comes when one of the people is all..."Hey, I dig you..let's hug and tell each other our dreams" and the other person is all..." I've been meaning to talk to you about this.....blah blah blah..awkward awkward awkward..friendship metaphors, friendship metaphors, uncomfortable smiles..ends with an awkward hug". And how does that make the other person feel? Well, I'll be frank...makes 'em feel like poop.

I've been on both sides of this equation, and it ain't pretty from either side! If you're the one makin' proclaiming your admiration for someone, you've already pumped yourself up with adrenaline to numb yourself from the fear of admitting your feelings and showing them you are actually a girl..and you have feelings..and a heart..and you like them..and stuff.....(so I've heard....), so to be greeted with the friendship talk leaves you feeling vulnerable, like ysomeone was just like.."Hey! You! Ya, you! You forgot to put on a shirt this morning and now you're walking down the street like a fool! I'm judging you! Bwhahaha..evil laughter coming from my face!" Yikes.
When you are on the other side though, you have to choose your words VERY CAREFULLY. "I don't want to hurt his feelings. He's been so precious before things got all awky. Be nice. Make like Ella Fitzgerald and accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative. Sandwich this blow with some positive things. Oh, I know! Let's still be friends"

The awkward nature of this conversation leads to embarrassment. Always. There is no way around that. So the answer to our question? We can be friends depending on how quickly we can let go of our pride issues. For me? It takes awhile. Whether I'm the bearer of bad news, or the one with the heart on her sleeve...I can't help it. I function at the maturity level of a 12 year old boy. Deal with it. My friends do!

"Love is blind. Friendship tries not to notice."

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