Wednesday, March 24, 2010

He's Cute vs. He's a Man-Baby

Life is all about illusions. Take for example Las Vegas power couple, Seigfried and Roy. They built their careers on fooling everyone into thinking that their tigers were magical and they could make them disappear. That illusion was broken with Roy got dragged off stage like sausage. Magical tigers, eh? Not so much.

I am finding that the same can be said for men. Take for example a gentleman I recently encountered. On the outside he was smart, handsome but oh-so-cute at the same time (what a combo!), charming, and funny, but in reality he was nothing more than a...MAN-BABY!

What's a man-baby, you ask? A Man-baby can be defined as a male who is deceivingly mature and put together, but in the light of day can only function at the maturity level of a toddler.

He eats, he poo's, he sleeps. Anything past supey hard for the lil' guy. Picking up on the cues of an available and charming young woman? Too hard for the man-baby. Going in for the kiss? Man-babies find this difficult. Realizing that complimenting her is going to make her like you more? Man-Baby doesn't do math! You can't get that through the little man-baby's head. Calling her back? Nope, not on the list of things to do for this man-baby. You know why? Because he is a Man-baby.

Man-babies are everywhere in this world, and women have the unique challenge weeding through them to find the real men. A warning to all eligible young women reading this blog, the illusion of the perfect guy will probably drag YOU off stage like sausage into the green room, which at this venue is doubling as a nursery full of MAN-BABIES! Know your escape route OUT of this Man-Baby nursery, and ensure you have a safe-zone full of your gay best friends to save you from the man-babies that will surely chase after you and fool you into marrying them. Do not marry the man-babies, I repeat, DO NOT MARRY THE MAN-BABIES. In fact, don't even date the man-babies, they will spit up on you and it will be VERY expensive to get that out at the dry cleaners.

So, how do we avoid the man-babies? We don't. We do our best to be the Barbara Walters, investigative journalist, of the dating world, and figure it out as quickly as possible. The man-baby won't show his true colors right away, but as soon as it's naptime...he's going to want his this point..RUN! :) You are in the presence of a real live MAN-BABY!

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