Ok, people..I've got to get this off my chest. I'm seeing them all around town. It is baffling to me! So this brings me to my open letter of the day to..GUYS WITH VERY LONG BEARDS.
Dear Guys with VERY LONG Beards,
Just one question, why?
Ok, ok, I lied..a few more questions. Now, I understand that a beard on a man can be...liberating, should we say? In fact, beards are very chic right now. But please note that when I speak of chic beards, I am speaking of ones that are tamed and clean..said chic beards do NOT have the capacity to be braided and/or beaded. NOT ok to hang beads from your face. When did this become appropriate? My problem lies in this truth, Guys with VERY long beards...are you actually attempting to make a fashion statement, or are you lazy?
Let me share with you a scenario that I feel is fitting. Here's my first impression of a guy with a very long beard.
Let's say for instance I'm walking down an alleyway. You can hear jazz in the distance. The moon is full and the Lady and the Tramp are sitting at the end of the ally sucking on noodles together. As I walk I see you...man with a very long beard...do you know what I think at this point? I think, "Oh no, this man is going to invite me into the sewage drain that he lives in and try to take advantage of me with his beard. Ugh. Damn it! NOT AGAIN!"
THAT is what I think, guys with very long beards. Now..let's asses WHY I think that? Main reason? Your beard is creepy. Like supey creepy. Like I'm not messing around when I say this..shave that beard off or expect everyone to think you are a creeper. No woman is going to date you with that beard. Nothing says "this is not sexy" as much as you caressing my face in a sexy manner with your beaded beard. True story. Mmmk..happy shaving!