I love my Mommy...
So Mother's Day is tomorrow..woops! You didn't know?!? Stop reading this and go out and get your Mamacita a card...we'll wait....
Ok, you're back? Good job. Those flowers smell...generic. Better luck next year, ol' chum! Anywhos! So...Moms, they're fun, right? Right. They are. Mothers can drive us nutty, mothers can get on our nerves, but at the end of the day those ladies sure do love us. Damn. There is one truth about all Mothers: They would like to know everything you are doing..all the time..and with whom. It's true. All of them are different in the severity of their interest, but they all do care to know a few deets.
A lot of people I know share the bare minimum with their mothers. "The less they know..", I suppose. This spans all topics of possible interest to the mothers. Maybe you don't want to share the fact that you have a tattoo of a squirrel on your lower back with the madre, or perhaps you don't want her to know that you are secretly living in a Dungeons and Dragons naked commune, and when you say "I live in Boston" you really mean.."I pretend I have a fake dragon and that I'm a King." But, a common topic is that of a child's love life. No matter what our age, it seems we all feel as though we need to hide something from our parents. I have a few friends who don't even let their mother's meet their new boyfriends or girlfriends for many, many months.
So what's with the fear to share new love/like/lust with our Mothers? My theory..the mommy gets attached to anything new. So we fear that if we tell her too soon, she's going to get attached and be grumpy at you when you kick them to the curb. Here's the thing about your Mother.. She sees you happy, glowing, or even just a little less bitter than your usual self, and she wants to be a part of whatever made you this way. It's really that she just wants to share in your joy. We've made her endure all of our other emotions through the years, so why not the joy of new love? There's a problem with sharing time. The mother makes you answer the tough questions about a potential suitor. "Is he good to you?" or "Is she slutty?"..perhaps "Does he come from a good home?" "Does he have a job?" and especially, "Is she an actress..because if she is, run away..she's flighty!" :) Sometimes these questions are not things we'd like to answer right away. They bring us to a place of honesty when we'd be perfectly happy staying in ambiguity.
I've always had a pretty open book policy with my mother. She knows pretty much everything I do...to a degree, of course. I've got a mysterious rep to protect, of course...and obviously, some things she will NEVER know about. :) But I trust her opinion, she makes me laugh, and most importantly, she can tell when I'm happy or not. I popped out of her..she would know. I don't feel the need to hide many things from her, or make up extravagant stories to make myself sound better. She knows my failures, she embraces my successes, and holds me to a higher standard.
Mothers want the best for us, they want us to be happy. When we came home with a bad report card we hid it from our Mothers...why? Because it showed failure. When we came home with an A on a history paper we shoved it in our mother's faces and expected to be praised...why? Because it showed our success. When we have a bad date, or a stupid boyfriend who we are seeing for superficial reasons, we hide that from our Mothers..why? Because it shows our failures or lack of self-confidence. We only share with our Mother's the things that we know are going to be a success. Does he want to marry you? Then you invite him over for dinner to meet the family. Why? Because that's a success in your life...and you want the parents to lay down some cash for your dream wedding :)
So where's the learning process in this? If we only share our successes then we are able to pretend that we are flawless people in our mother's mind , but if we share our struggles and failures..our mothers can help us through it. My Mother and I laugh about the crazy boys I've spent time with all the time..it's so much fun! I highly suggest sitting down with your mother and telling her some of the crazy-ass stories you tell your girlfriends. She will love them. A lot. Reminds her of when she was in her 20s. I also can guarantee you will get some crazy-ass stories from her that you may or may not want to listen to :) As much as I hate to admit it, my mom has some good points sometimes. She gets me. She wants me to be happy.
Life is all about adventure, let the woman who popped you out in on some of the details of your adventure sometimes. You can keep some secrets, I sure do! (Sorry Mommy) But it's fun to let your mom in on girl talk sometimes. :) Go kiss your Mommy and tell her you love her! I'm going to do that right now!