Monday, September 6, 2010

All The World's A Stage to Us...

Here is a rule actors should all live by: 


Here is a rule that normal people should live by:


As an actor myself, I have learned the importance of avoiding fellow drama-makers. Why? Well, unless chosen VERY carefully, dating an actor can be a big pile of messy. 

"But Madde, if we were to follow this rule...that would mean that no one could ever date you! You're an actor!" said this adorable puppy pointing his finger-paw. 

To that I say...shhhhh, puppy. Simmer down. That's not true. I'm awesome. I'm ALWAYS the exception to the rule. 

Anywho. Dating actors. Let's get back to the point. Actors are a special breed of human being. If you have ever been in a group of us, you can sometimes feel as though you are in an alternate, heightened reality. 

For instance, the other night as I stood on the beautiful rooftop balcony of a closing Minneapolis theater, I took a moment to look around. I was surrounded by hipsters and actors screaming at each other about the importance of doing avant garde Shakespeare for the masses in the modern age. Yes, that was a real conversation. And yes, eyes were welling up with tears. Actors mean business. All the time. 

One can argue that it isn't just actors that wear their hearts on their sleeves. That is true, but as actors we are bred to be so in touch with our emotions that if the moment is right to cry....we will cry. If the moment is right to scream expletives as we do jazz squares...we will break out our character shoes and scream the f-bomb in a British accent at the top of our lungs. If the moment is right to put on full clown make-up and a mink, while we sing "Everything's Coming Up Roses"...we will put on clown shoes, channel Mama Rose, and effing belt out "Everything's Coming Up Roses". It's just how we are made, we can't help it. 

Dating actors is especially dangerous if you are an actor yourself. Think about it in your mind grapes for a second. Let's think about actors as explosives for a moment. 

Let's do some simple math:




Truth: There are many actors who have made it work together. They are in the minority, I'm sure. Truth: I fully admit I am filled the brim with dramatic tendencies, therefore...for me "actor + actor=bad news bears". 

So, a warning to all those who don't know any better and date an actor: 

All the world is a stage to actors...don't be surprised if things end up accordingly. 

I'm just sayin'...

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