Monday, September 27, 2010

The "Cut Off" goes Awry.

I think we've all been there. A romance has gone awry and you must never speak to the other person again. Perhaps it was too painful, too miserable, too awkward. Whatever the reason, you'd like to pretend like they never existed.

In this age of uber-technology, we are at the beck and call of every person at all times. If they can't reach us by snail mail or yelling our name out a window, in hopes that we come scurrying... they can try our cellphone, text message, facebook wall post, facebook message, facebook poke, BBMing us, G-chatting, Skyping, Tweeting at us, twatting at us, tooting at us. Somehow they will find a way to reach us.

So when it's time to cut all ties from a person, there's going to be a lot of work. It's exhausting. I haven't had to do the "CUT OFF" to many people in my life, but there are a select few who had become so toxic in my life, it was really best for us both to not communicate anymore.

So what do you do when it's time for the "Cut Off", well I start with Facebook. Defriending someone is harsh, but it keeps establishes some boundaries reaaaaal quick. When do you do the "Cut Off," it's important not to do it with malice, rather, it's important to do it with a pure heart. If you truly know that having the other person so prominently in your technological life is toxic/destructive to you, it's probably best to just go back to square one with them.

Here's the problem with the "Cut Off". When you cut a person out of your life because they have been so awful to you, you sometimes forget they exist. That's where you run into the problem I had recently.

While out on the town with a bestie of mine, we walked into a restaurant and there "he" was. "He" had taken me on a wild goose chase of teenage-like love months before, and ensured he stomped all over my heart as he made his swift exit from my life. (That sounded so dramatic...I'm aware. I just love an extended metaphor..It really wasn't so bad. Let's continue with the metaphor for drama's sake though..) After he stomped off into the night months before with my naive heart clutched in his devilish paws, I ensured he was "Cut Off". (See? Didn't that metaphor feel good?)

But there he was. Sitting at a table with a friend. He noticed me first, I couldn't help it. He invited us to come take a seat. Here's the thing about the "Cut Off," not only do you forget they exist, but you also leave yourself vulnerable when a possible run-in occurs. We sat down. I had forgotten how adorable he was....until he opened his mouth. And I remembered how obnoxious he IS.

That evening taught me something important. I'm not exactly sure what it taught me...perhaps my affinity for vodka soda's with lime (this was after I left the table in a huff..remembering WHY things had not gone well with us months before..), or perhaps the "Cut Off" was done for a reason. We were toxic in each other's lives. Simple as that.

It happens. Romances go awry all the time. Now let's gallop into the sunset with our IPhones and update our statuses telling the world how we are better off without him...

1 comment:

  1. I've had that, in fact, very recently. It sucks but it's always for the better.

    His name was Jim and he couldn't even introduce me to the couple he was having lunch with. When I tried to introduce myself, he interrupted me, the rest of the time.

    So, yeah, I don't speak to him.