Monday, September 27, 2010

An Open Letter to...SEXTERS! AH!

Lock your phones and protect those all those with a weak stomach! 
We are all at risk! 
Are you a victim of...SEXTING??


You know who you are. All of you. Please leave my innocent friends and I alone. Whitney Houston said it best when she proclaimed, "Crack is whack". Well I'm here to proclaim the same sentiment..."Sexting is WHACK!" defines "sexting" as such: "The act of text messaging someone in the hopes of having a sexual encounter with them later; initially casual, transitioning into highly suggestive and even sexually explicit". 

Tell me something, Sexter, what was it about ME that fits that definition? Because I'm pretty sure your "highly suggestive and even sexually explicit" words in that sext, make me want to vomit and laugh at the same time. Sexting me would assume that we are engaged in a relationship of some sort, when in reality we've only hung out a few times. Let's turn the tables for a moment, shall we? If I were to sext someone I had only hung out a few times with, I would wonder if perhaps they thought I was being a bit forward? Did this go through your mind? Or were you too busy trying to take a cellphone picture in your bathroom mirror. This "turned table situation" wouldn't happen though. Do you know why that is, Sexter? BECAUSE SEXTING IS WHACK! I know it. You know it. The American people know it.

One of you Sexters sent my best friend a picture that was neither casual, nor suggestive. In fact this picture was just plain GRAPHIC. A picture of your man bits saying "Look who wants to say hi!" should I say this....umm...WHACK!

I think I can speak for most recipients of a Sext when I say, we appreciate your efforts, but if you wouldn't say that to my face, don't you DARE send it to my IPhone! Many a gentleman caller has accused me of not being a very good recipient of romance, but I can tell you that what you Sexters are sending to our phones is not's just WHACK!

And some advice, if the recipient of your sext responds with a "haha" or "awky turtle!" or even "wtf?"'ve misjudged the situation. Try again.



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